Well, how likes a good three hour road trip… I love getting on the open road with my family, as we do not get to do it often. This weekend, my family and I traveled from Austin, TX to Ballinger, TX, a three hour road trip to West Texas.
Why do I bring this up… Well this weekend, I’m facing a fear or anxiety ridden situation I have been thinking about for almost a year. The last time I was out here, I was at my brother’s funeral. He was tragically killed in a car accident south-east of town. On the way here, we actually have to drive past the site of the accident. As I stand here in my sister-in-laws living room, thinking of the places we would have gone today, out to the river, golf course, shoot guns, I think to myself how much I miss my brother, Matt.
I have not been wanting to face this reality of coming back to Ballinger because I knew I would have to face reality that he is not here. Actually, in being here I realized this trip isn’t about me, but it’s about a spiritual awakening and watching my kids play with their kids, spending time with family while celebrating his life.
I woke up yesterday ready to face my anxieties and fears about how I could possibly feel coming here, but I made it. I followed my bipolar / anxiety strategies and my belief in a Higher Power (I have chosen God as my Higher Power).
I listened to my heart and soul, praying and practicing self-help strategies by doing the following:
1) Journaling – Blogging and writing in a journal is therapeutic for me, as it allows me to express my feelings to myself.
2) Talking My Anxieties Out with Trusted People in My Life – Doing this allows me to express my thoughts and feelings. It also allowed me to realize that I wasn’t alone in feeling this way.
3) Focusing on Celebrations of Life – Knowing that My Higher Power (God) has a plan and that I’m part of his master-piece has helped me through adversity. Letting my anxiety and fear go to a Higher Power gives me relaxation and serenity.
Realizing that I can let things go and give them to a Power Greater than Myself is part of AA and my Spiritual Beliefs and I find that it truly works. I do this by writing out my thoughts and feelings, speaking to my Higher Power and sharing with trusted individuals. I realize in doing all of these things, I’m not alone and that I can accomplish anything.
I ask these questions today:
1) What are your fears and anxieties today?
2) Are they real or are they False Expectations that Appear Real (F.E.A.R.)?
3) Do you have solid strategies that you use to face adversity?
4) What are those strategies and how do you incorporate them into your life?
5) How can you improve your way of thinking and your spiritual connections today?