Anxiety Attack – Have You Seen the Rain?

 There always tends to be a calm before the storm in most situations, but not necessarily mine. I have been struggling with anxiety for years, and the last few weeks, my anxiety has been intense (along with other health problems).  I ended up being taken by ambulance to a heart hospital in town, because there were suspicions I was having a heart attack (BP = 168/104, Pulse = 136, Numbness, etc). 

The bottom line is, I had a massive anxiety / panic attack. I am a recovering alcoholic, and have been diagnosed with a mood disorder in the past. I am currently being treated by a psychiatrist, and have been for over 8 years.  I wish I could identify exactly what caused the anxiety attack, and I know there are several factors that accumulated over time. 

I share this information, because there are people in society that think anxiety is a weakness or lack of confidence. I disagree with that statement 110%. Anxiety disorders are as real as any other medical condition, and must be considered / treated that way.  

I was so IMPRESSED with St. David’s Austin Heart Hospital in Austin, Texas, for treating me extremely well. The topic of anxiety came up in the ER, and those doctors and nurses took that potential cause as serious as any other ailment it could be. 

It is time to humanize mental health and mood disorders in all facets of society.  It shouldn’t matter if a person is in prison, or living in Beverly Hills, they should all have the right to fair and just treatment. 

The song, ‘Have You Seen the Rain’ by CCR, was shining bright in my ears when I was in the hospital. It kept playing over and over in my mind, so I wanted to share the lyrics. 

Have a Wonderful Day!!! 

“Someone told me long ago
There’s a calm before the storm,
I know It’s been comin for some time.

When it’s over, so they say,
It’ll rain a sunny day,
I know
Shinin down like water.

[Chorus:]
I want to know, have you ever seen the rain
I want to know, have you ever seen the rain
Comin down on a sunny day

Yesterday, and days before,
Sun is cold and rain is hard,
I know
Been that way for all my time.

‘Til forever, on it goes
Through the circle, fast and slow,
I know
It can’t stop, I wonder.”

Make this Place Your Home

A heartfelt post from a blog was recently posted, and this song immediately came to mind.  The post was about a man that was struggling with medication for anxiety, and how he felt the intense anxiety becoming overbearing.  In reading the post, not to many details of what type of medication was being withheld from him, and the reason why it was.

After reading that post, a song a co-worker and friend, introduced to me came to mind.  The song is called ‘Home’ by Phillip Phillips and the lyrics: “settle down, it’ll all be clear
Don’t pay no mind to the demons, they fill you with fear, the trouble—it might drag you down, if you get lost, you can always be found” intensely became clear in my head.  Specifically remembering the word ‘demons’ in the lyrics brought thoughts of how every person has a different demon(s) they are facing in life.  Treat people with kindness, because you never know what battle they may be facing.

Demons can present themselves in many different forms, and fashions.  Anxiety, addiction, depression, abuse, death, are only a handful of demons that may be filling your ‘neighbor’ with fear.  It is easy to say, that each and every person has control over their own mind, but is this really true.  There are psychological disorders, and addiction disorders that are predisposed, chemical imbalances in the brain that cause these disorders.

A person may say, well that person has the clear choice to deal with it, but it isn’t that easy, especially when the person is currently not able to appropriately rationalize with themselves.  If a person is blamed for having a psychological disorder, then others should be blamed for developing cancer, which is clearly asinine.  Life style may affect psychological disorders, and create mental disturbances, such as drug addiction.  It is clearly stated, and determined that if a person smokes meth, it will cause brain damage.  This is a proven fact, and smoking meth, will change the physical and chemical design of the brain and body.  Drug and alcohol addictions clearly happen because of chemical imbalances, psychological imbalances, and methods a person is using to face adverse situations in their life.  I grew up in an upper class family, and my parents provided my brothers and I a wonderful life full of love, faith, and hope.  There weren’t too many worries in life, but I still became an alcoholic.  In my experience in two treatment centers, I met men that had millions of dollars, had beautiful families, outstanding careers, and they were in there sitting next to me.  Addiction and psychological disorders have no boundaries.  I have had anxiety all of my life, and my way of self medicating was to drink alcohol.  Alcohol was my medication, and tool to face all adversity in my life, and to enhance / celebrate all of the ‘good’ things in my life.

Everyone deserves to have a peaceful ‘home’ in their mind.  This is a place where you live everyday, and can’t escape from.  As a person would fix the roof of their house after it was torn off by a tornado, people need to have the tools to ‘fix’ their mind when it is torn apart by adversity and pain.  At the beginning, during, and at the end of each day, you must make your mind a home, not a house you exist in.  If you are reading this, and need help to make your ‘place’ (body) a home, seek professional help.  In your exploration, the journey starts with small steps, which may include writing your thoughts in a journal, sharing thoughts with a loved one, participating in a chat online, attending an online AA meeting, actually walking into a meeting, making a doctors appointment, etc.

It’s not going to be easy, but it will be worth it!!!!

 

“Hold on to me as we go
As we roll down this unfamiliar road
And although this wave (wave) is stringing us along

Just know you’re not alone
‘Cause I’m gonna make this place your home

Settle down, it’ll all be clear
Don’t pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble—it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found

Just know you’re not alone
‘Cause I’m gonna make this place your home

Ooo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo. Oo-oo-oo-oo [2x]
Aaa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa. Aa-aa-aa-aaaaaa [4x]

Settle down, it’ll all be clear
Don’t pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found

Just know you’re not alone
‘Cause I’m gonna make this place your home